Oh the entangled webs of this heart

It’s been a while for me writing down my feelings and thoughts; I’ve been having trouble facing my feelings and thoughts in my own head much less typing them out. So with that excuse this post that may just be rambling but I am a rambler.

I have recently wondered what happened to my heart and who I am. To some I am too calloused and unopen and yet to others I am so sensitive that I come off as homosexual, confusing for me to say the least. What I have noticed is that when I put my heart out there it often gets sent back to me in a mangled state. I think that some where along the way I listened to way to many bad pop songs and saw a bevy of romantic movies that I whole heartedly believed that commercial garbage. I was told over and over God has a special lady just for you and to wait, be patient and guard my heart. And all too often I listened to both of those messages mixing them into a bastard child of inbred wishes and understanding of love.

I now take full responsibility for my incorrect thinking. I made myself this way and I have to undo my decades of miss-education. My life is not cinematic or even well-scripted in the best sense. I will never run to break up a wedding at the last moment stealing the bride and dashing away. I have no eloquent speeches to those women (hell I can barely write a decent blog).   Life is just  one hodgepodge of joy and broken hearts and I am learning to find contentment in the ride.

So all that to say, to my friends getting married this summer mozeltoff

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3 Responses

  1. That makes sense to me.

  2. why am i a cartoon? i hate this cyberworld.

  3. i am glad you are writing again. i have missed reading your blog.

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