Fairy tale endings and dewdrops

So on the eave of my departure from spokane I am of course reflecting on what I have come to consider my home, and those that made it so. I’ve always been so bad at this sort of thing. Don’t get me wrong I put a lot of meaning into these things as I do most things. I want there to be so much in my goodbyes. I plan out long conversations the perfect punctuation of tears, hugs and laughter. But I’ve never been able to do it well It never lives up to what I create in my head, as usual. To understand my thoughts best I think one of my fictional heroes sums up my thoughts best. 

JD( from Scrubs): Things rarely go exactly the way you want them to, so sometimes you make due with whatever you can get…Endings are never easy; I always build them up so much in my head they can’t possibly live up to my expectations, and I just end up disappointed. I’m not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end here…

I guess it’s because we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang onto our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is: you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that it’s all about the people that you let into your life.  

And as my mind drifted to faces I’ve seen here before, I was taken to memories of family, of coworkers, of lost loves, even of those who’ve left us. And as I rounded that corner, they all came at me in a wave of shared experience…And even though it felt warm and safe, I knew it had to end. It’s never good to live in the past too long.

As for the future, it didn’t seem so scary anymore. It could be whatever I wanted it to be…  And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true… just this once?

 This time I’ve decided to try to do my best to reflect and leave things well but then again I’m a work in progress. Thank you to those that have given me so much and given me closure. So as I reflect and love I look to the future where it can be anything I want it to be.