Confession, Forgiveness and Grace

Lately, I have been learning a lot about what true grace is. I went out with some friends and had some drinks, I then proceeded to drive home. The end result was me spending a night in jail hanging my head dressed in stripes. I never thought I could get so low in my life as to be arrested for drinking and driving in my home town. In my defense I was originally pulled over for a blown head light and had only had a few drinks. On the other hand there is no defense, I made a mistake and was caught. I deserve what I get. Through this experience I have been given an opportunity to look at my life and reflect. Because of my actions I had to confess to my father who bailed me out (bless his soul), my boss, the youth directors I work with, and my youth kids that I completely and utterly failed. It has been an emotional ride in the past few weeks.

But in this I have seen great rays of grace being showered upon me. My father bailed me out and then continued to take me on a planned surf trip, my best friend fixed my head light, my ministry leaders offered me open arm grace taking me in and letting me cry on their shoulders. Part of my continuation with my ministry was confessing to a full youth group who instead of judging me prayed for me and told me that I was loved in the moments where I felt love was too distant. I’ve been shown love and forgiveness when I didn’t deserve it.

This is the one of the most powerful seasons in life I have experienced. I have been so loved that my transgressions have been forgiven and meet with support and love that I don’t deserve. God is so good, he knows what you need before you can even form the words. This has been a transformative life-giving experience that no theology class or sermon can reproduce or come close to.

I now know what it is to truly confess and put yourself out there at the mercy of those you love and to be accepted for every scratch and dent. For every time I’ve looked down on someone or withheld forgiveness I am truly sorry. I now know what it is to be forgiven, to be washed as white as snow. I have been forgiven for much and so I love much.

Thank you Christ for showing me real love, confession, forgiveness and grace. And thank you to those who have been Christ to me.